Living Fullness

Forgiveness in Friendship, and in our relationship with Jesus

In this week's episode, Padre and Stina tackle forgiveness - free act of releasing someone from the debt they have incurred by sinning against us, and by no longer defining them by the act of the sin against us. 
If someone has hurt us, it's because we trusted they would not harm us or would not break our boundaries. We need to accept then that trust has been broken. We also need to pay attention to our emotions because they are helpful and tell us something. 
Padre explains the difference between vincible and invincible ignorance and why this is important in considering whether a conversation around forgiveness needs to take place. If we do decide that a conversation has to take place, Charity must be our motivator. Including giving people space when we bring up the conversation. 
Some common sayings:
1. Forgive and Forget - We don't define people by the wrong they have done against us, but we do need to learn from the interaction. Repairing the relationship doesn't mean the relationship turns back into what it was, it will need to grow into what's most appropriate at the time.
2. Forgive and Never Forget - Means I still define you by the behaviour
3. Forgiveness is just a matter of the will - it's a choice but the will does not operate on it's own. It's needs emotion and intellect.  
4. Only able to forgive when you're no longer hurting - we are always able to enter into the process of forgiveness even when we're not emotionally ready to forgive. 
Forgiveness is a journey and it's supernatural - because we are called to forgive as Christ forgives. 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do' Luke 23:34
We also need to be careful that we are open to receiving the forgiveness of others. 
 
T.B.G
Padre - Celebrated 6yrs of Ordination to the Priesthood
Stina - The Chosen - Season 2
 

Apology Language in relationships

Following on from love language, Padre and Stina have a closer look at apologies and Apology Language by Gary Chapman. Apologies opens up and makes the path to forgiveness easier. Apologies can be healing an have health benefits. They also recognise there is a rule or and expectation in place that has been broken and should have been upheld. There is also an ongoing conversation in our culture about the tendency for women to apologise for things that are unnecessary. 
 
The 5 Apology Languages
Expressing regret - being sorrowful for our behaviour and saying I am Sorry
Accepting Responsibility - Taking ownership over what happened
Making Restitution - Rebuilding broken trust
Genuinely Repenting - making a resolve to change
Forgiveness - Asking for forgiveness
 
5 Apology languages in light of our relationship with Jesus
Expressing regret - having a contrite heart
Accepting Responsibility - Owning, Jesus died for MY sins
Making Restitution - A broken relationship requires two people to repair, however when it comes to our relationship with God, we need Jesus to help us heal the brokenness which we cannot heal on our own.  
Genuinely Repenting - making a commitment of the standard of love we ought to uphold and strive for. 'Be perfect as your father in heaven is perfect'- Matthew 5:48
Forgiveness - Ask for his mercy and forgiveness, he will not hesitate to forgive you. All he wants to do is shower us with his love and mercy. Anything that makes us hesitate, is not of God. 
 
Truth. Beauty. Goodness
Stina - a father and son playing chess in a cafe
Padre - the host of a birthday dinner party 'you can taste the ingredient of love' in her cooking.  
Forgiveness - Asking for forgiveness
 

Friends in Ministry with Fr Reece Beltrame

Note: There were was a phantom mic problem with Stina's mic, for the first 7min. Do not turn the volume too high as it returns to normal at 7min 43sec. 
In this episode, our hosts interview one of Padre's friends in Ministry, a brother priest, Fr. Reece Beltrame from the Wagga Wagga Diocese. Fr. Beltrame walk us through some of his testimony, and what his relationship with Jesus looks like at the moment. Father gave us some insights and some beautiful things to consider.
The questions asked in this episode include: What's your testimony in a snapshot? How did the people around you respond to your call to the priesthood? What's something you would have wanted the younger version of yourself to know?
What do you think it would take to remain friends with people pre-seminary? Were you two friends in the seminary or how did the friendship come about? What might be some challenges of friendship between priests? What is the best part of having a friend in the priesthood? As a priest, what are your thoughts on friendships with lay Christians? 
What does your personal relationship with Christ look like? What has been a game changer in your relationship with Christ in more recent times? What is God calling you into at this time? 
The episode ends with a quick fire series of questions and a lot of laughs. 
A shout out to Ignatius Press, Exodus Challenge and Rise Challenge
Let us know what questions you would have asked our guest 

When did you come to understand Easter?

In this week's episode, Padre and Stina talk about their favourite parts of Easter and when the real meaning of Easter sunk in. Some of the questions our hosts cover include: 
1. How do you celebrate Easter over all?
2. What are you Holy week Highlights?  (from Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday and Easter Sunday)
3. What is Easter actually about as the high point of the Christian calendar?
4. What would be the repercussions if there was no resurrection? 
5. When did it click for you what Easter is actually about?
 
T.B.G - What more truth, beauty and goodness is there than that of Christs coming, death and resurrection?
Episode concludes with a prayer
 

Lent - What to do in a season of spring time training

In this episode Padre and Stina talk about Lenten observances and practices that enriches their preparation for Easter. 
Lent comes from spring time and is a period of training and preparation. Common practices include prayer, fasting and almsgiving. Fasting is really powerful and helps us become master of our bodies as we learn there is a hierarchy of goods. Saying no to legitimate pleasures, prepares us to say to illegitimate pleasures as well as yes to wonderful things. Almsgiving includes considering what are the things we can give up but also take up. 
Canon law stipulates that only people above the age of 14 are expected to follow the practice of abstinence from meat on certain days, and those between the ages .18 and 60 are expected to fast (see Canon Law 1252). 
 
A shout out to the Catholic Institute of Sydney
 
T.B. G
Padre - Campion College students
Stina - Gifted autobiography of Dorothy Day

Can men and women be JUST friends Part 3

Part 3 of the conversation where Padre and Stina tie up the loose ends, including some common arguments that are often presented for why men and women cannot be JUST friends, and their response to this. 
Padre outlines that men and women are made for communion/togetherness, but to pretend this is impossible outside of romantic relationship is limiting. There is a unique level of communion in marriage, but this is not the only path of communion with one another.
'Our thoughts and desires are subject to reason, not the other way around' - Padre
Stina questioned whether Jesus would have warned Mary Magdalene to not befriend the disciples as she followed him, in case that should cause a romantic attraction between them and be deemed uncharitable. 
Padre and Stina's response then, is that male and female friendships are possible with appropriate boundaries, and disagree that all relationships of opposite sex will necessarily form a romantic attraction. 
If it's not possible to be friends beyond romantic attraction, then how can we expect fidelity in marriage, after all, there is no Altar Switch (as Sarah Swafford would say). Men and women can't then look at the beauty of one another without indulging their sexual desires in a selfish manner, and it tells us that human sexuality has no other function other than procreation which is NOT a Christian attitude to the body.
The Body is the means through which we express our masculine and feminine genius, and serve others, and through the body the truth of who I am and who lives in me is brought to light.
 
Isn't it most charitable to simple avoid this kind of relationship, so that there is no risk of this happening? Stina responds that in some relationships this may be appropriate, but there are two things to consider.
1. We cannot assume responsibility for another persons thoughts and desires, to take that responsibility away from them, places a limit on their capacity and their free will
2. Risk is there for 2 reasons, The first is to encourage us to safeguard the relationship, and the second is to give us courage to step outside of ourselves to make a gift of ourselves in service of the other. How can we begin to do that, if our first response is to avoid the opposite sex?
Interestingly many of the arguments given by Christian circles tend to be the same as the atheistic secular world. 
Our hosts would love to hear your thoughts, or tell us if you disagree and why, we welcome the dialogue.
Make contact either via our Facebook Group  OR on Instagram
 
Truth Beauty and Goodness (T.B.G)
Padre - Consecration to St Joseph Click here Or Join the Facebook Group
Stina - Bible in a Year Podcast (with Fr Mike Schmitz) By Ascension Press Click here  
 

Can men and women be JUST friends? Part 2

The conversation continues about whether or not men and women can be JUST friends. In this episode, Padre and Stina, have a look at a few different Christian examples, including Scripture and saints. 
These include: Paul and Phoebe in Romans 16; 1 Timothy 5:1-2 'Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters in all purity'; Francis and Clare of Assisi, John of the Cross & Rose of Lima, John Paul II & Anna Teresa Tymieniecka.
With the examples of men and women who have gone before us, who have successfully walked the path of holy friendship, why can't we?
We are first called to be brothers and sisters in Christ, and the way that is expressed can also be through friendship.  
This is a charged topic, so get in touch with us with your thoughts, comments, and any questions. If you're in a particular friendship that seems sticky, or unsure about, get in touch, we'll help if we can. 
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Facebook Group: Living Fullness
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T.B.G
Padre - Rector of Vianney College, Fr. Peter Thompson's caring nature
Stina - The Chosen Series   you can also view Season One on youtube

Can Men and Women be JUST Friends Part 1

Here at last is the episode most people have been waiting for, can men and women be JUST friends? Padre and Stina tackle this question head on but there is so much to cover it will be split into 3 episodes. They talk about some of the thoughts presented to us by the world around us, our entertainment industry, as well as some Christian perspectives, that strangely enough agrees with what the world at large has to say.
One presumption is that all male and female friendships end in romantic or sexual relations, and another is that it's simply not realistic; listen to the episode to find out what our hosts had to say. 
There is not as much content around friendship as there are for other relationships, hence why Virtue Ministry is hosting this podcast; Living Fullness. One of the goals of Virtue Ministry is to assist and encourage dialogue and to give language to different elements of relationships so that we can have more fulfilling relationships. Please see www.virtueministry.org.au for more
 
T.B.G
Padre - Watching someone pass away with peace and dignity. 
Stina - Virtue Challenge with the Holy Family based on advent reflections from Ascension Presents
 
 

Female Friendships - a chat with Stina and her friend, Caitlin Den-Bakker

In this episode the tables have turned, with Padre asking Stina and her friend Caitlin a series of questions on female friendships. 
Caitlin is a former teacher and a current public servant in Victoria. She is passionate about religious education and is a Campion College graduate. Caitlin is currently completing her qualifications as a nutritionist and is part of a project called My Daily Rosary, which includes free rosary audio with and without meditations. www.mydailyrosary.com
Some of the questions asked by Padre include; When women get together, what do you talk about? is the stereotype of shallow topics of conversation true? do you talk about men? and when you haven't seen each other for a while, is it true that it gets a bit manic, animated and mayhem like? How do women express their affection for one another? and towards guys? Are there any behaviours of men that are unhelpful to women? Do women ever feel confused about their feelings for a guy? How do women typically deal with conflict in their friendships with women?
Have a listen to the full episode and join the Living Fullness facebook group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/livingfullness
 
 

Male Friendships - a Chat with Padre and his friend, Christopher Gilroy

In this episode, Stina combined the questions of her women tribe and light heartedly interrogates Padre and his friend, Christopher Gilroy, about male friendships. 
Christopher is married to his wife Monika, and together they have a young Son, Jeremiah. Christopher is currently working with the Catholic Schools Youth Ministry Australia, in Canberra and a student of Bachelor of Theology.  
Some of the questions covered in this episode includes; when guys get together what do you talk about? How do guys express 'I love you' to  each other? What do you value in your friendships with other men? do guys ever get confused about their feelings for a woman? and what are some things women do that can be unhelpful in friendship? what makes male friendships fulfilling?
The episode includes everything from being jovial, discussing what a basic dad looks like, to cultural discourse, to loyalty and accountability, and social etiquette when getting to know someone new. 
Have a listen to the podcast and let us know what you think.
Christopher and his friend, Fr Trenton, are almost ready to launch their own podcast 'Melt like Wax'. Make sure you look that up in a few weeks time.